I feel that we're maladjusted in our modernized Western world to deal with issues of the soul, and especially to safely live with our own darker natures, which I will from here on in refer to as "demons". We all have them: Those tendencies, the "crazy moments" when we lose or shit for a few minutes. For some, the demons come to surface all on their own. For others, a catalyst is needed; a seance must be performed to bring them to light. I consider drinking (alcohol) to be one such seance; it goes across the board for any drug, though.
I've had plenty of my own encounters with the demons who reside within me, and plenty of bad experiences at my own seances; all my friends have. When people come together to be friends, especially like my own, I consider it to be because our demons play well with each other, and this could be perceived as either good or bad. It is what it is of course, and there's nothing we can do about it.
Therapy can help, or any other method of getting deeper in touch with yourself (of course if you know me, you know I'm going to say yoga) but the fact of the matter that our culture seems to neglect to realize, understand or accept is that these demons are as much a part of us as the angels.
I am not a religious person, mind you, so don't take these references out of context; it's simply the best and easiest way for me to describe the light and dark elements at play within all of us. It has nothing to do with God or the Devil, and neither your personal beliefs or mine mean a pinch of shit in the matter, frankly, because they will bring us up or tear us down solely dependent on our level of understanding of them and the respect we give them. Or don't give them.
I have a friend. I had a friend, rather, who died recently. Many of you reading this know him. There has been much speculation as to the ultimate motive and cause behind his accident that I'm not going to get into, mainly because no one was there; no one knows what was going on in his head or the reason his car left the road that led to him no longer being with us. One thing is for sure, though: If he was drinking in his typical fashion, then the demons came out to play, and they got the upper hand.
It could be any of us, and has almost been me a few times, driving home when I should not have been, just fueled by alcohol and rage at nothing in particular but directed at myself, driving like an asshole. I crashed twice now like that and finally learned my lesson. It's just too short, life, and I like myself much more now than I did then. I just didn't know myself, who I was or where I wanted to go in this life; still don't but I've come to better accept this. Now if I'm going to have a seance, I make sure it's in a place I'm willing to spend the night at, and sleep those demons off.
But not everyone is so lucky.
It really doesn't matter what story you tell yourself to give you inner peace at the end of the day because ultimately what it comes down to is, if you play with fire, you're going to get burnt. Everyone's luck runs out sooner or later. Shit happens, but it can be avoided.
This is not a case against drugs or alcohol, and I still firmly believe that there are certain natural substances that have amazing capabilities for opening up avenues in us we had never dreamed of, provided they are used with proper knowledge, positive intention and respect; every increase of consciousness has its price.
If anything, I blame our "spiritual leaders". All these fat cats stuffing their greedy pockets with everyone's green, selling them salvation from themselves when these people are no role models themselves. The fact that you're a man of god does not automatically wash you clean of your demons, they just evolve and adapt and come out in other ways, more subtle ways. But these religions teach nothing of how to live with our demons, they don't tell us that we're just an interplay of light and darkness and that no matter what you do, you just are who you are.
I don't feel I've been led anywhere, nor would I want to be. We all have our paths we follow in this life, so your best bet is to find a sage person who has walked a similar one before you, to guide you along. Looking in the wrong places for such guidance only leads to more resentment, and confusion. It's a slippery slope, and I don't believe man is inherently anything; we all come up around certain influences which begin to shape our understanding of and interaction with the world around us, these eventually get roots and deepen into philosophies and constitutions, and before you know it we're set in our ways, be it perceivably "good" or "bad".
Some people are just more at home in the darkness than others, and sometimes that darkness will swallow a person whole.
This is just the first of a few parts of a subject very near and dear to me, so check back later for more. As always, thanks for reading,
Shane
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