Wow guys, 1,023 page views as of this morning; this is truly amazing, and it's all thanks to you. Seriously. So far, this is just beyond my wildest dreams, and I am truly grateful that others can enjoy reading my stuff, and maybe even relate.
I have no grand scheme, no get rich quick scheme or any other reason in particular as to why I write; it's something I need to do, it's a pressure release valve in a way. It's taken me a long time to get to this point, so that is what makes it so special for me, it also took a lot of encouragement from a lot of amazing people in my life to finally convince me I'm worth a damn and I have a talent that should not be wasted.
The words just come to me, but it's not always so easy to write. I still give in to that nagging little voice inside me who says I'm not good enough, or my shit sucks but I've gotten much better at just letting him talk now, and paying it no further mind. I still have no clear idea of where I want my writing to take me but it is figuring itself out as it goes, every day and so I will let it progress on its own naturally, organically.
I don't want to make up stories. I feel like there's enough fantasy out there already, that we all need that healthy dose of reality (be it harsh or not) to keep things in check, to keep it "real". That being said, however, I still enjoy losing myself in a well-told story, it's just not me at this point and so until that day comes or does not come, that distinction will be let up to those better capable to tell them. I come from a background rooted more in philosophy and the realm of the spirit, so I want nothing more than to have a discussion, ultimately with myself.
Yes, writing for me is a very selfish practice that ultimately benefits others as well, in some way. I'm ok with that. I want to be happy and I want that for others too. There's so much pain and confusion in the world already, I certainly don't want to contribute to it; I just want to try and show you that it doesn't always have to be pretty to be beautiful. Beauty is in the balance struck by opposing forces, at least to my mind.
Sometimes stories come together on their own but most of the time, I just want to have an internal conversation with the heart and mind; cut right through to the core of the matter. The practice of writing allows me to be direct and focused intellectually in a way like no other, so I can effectively get what I'm trying to say across without the emotions or ego getting in the way; It's one soul talking to another.
This experience has exceeded the little expectations I had going into it, so it validates my practice and the need to continue doing so. It's just funny how it took me so long to find my path when it was right under my feet the whole time. Life is like that, though; you notice things when you stop looking so hard for them. The rest happens on its own, when you're ready.
Thanks for reading friends. Y'all come back now, ya hear?..
Yours truly,
Shane
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