monsters inside us

  Sometimes there's so much to say the words can't come out fast enough. Other times, not a single syllable comes to mind. I enjoy both of these moments thoroughly but especially the latter; the chatter gets a little overbearing sometimes, though I feel I have no room to complain, as no one can fully understand what it must be like to live each day as a schizophrenic. 

  It's funny how some monsters are made naturally while others are "manufactured", as in man-made: spoiled, ruined, broken.. whatever. Nature takes care of her own, and she generally has to run her course, so it basically is what it is. These are the poor souls we're compelled by some inherent compassion to care for and attempt to heal, to fix. But Nature is cruel, and we soon learn that we cannot go against her; we must simply accept her decision and do the best we can to ensure the least amount of suffering for the tormented soul.

  Those that have been created are not natural, and our inherent tendency is of aversion, to avoid them altogether and at all costs. For most, compassion stops where behavior begins and the cycle of abuse renews itself, with the abused becoming the abuser. Manipulation of the emotions and all other manner of negative human behavior become commonplace, and creates new cracks in the caregivers psyches; one becomes cynical, or if the caregiver was already, the bitterness mutates into contempt, hatred. Soon, both parties line up on the battlefield with deception as their sword; trick or be tricked. Tolerate but never trust. 

  As taxing as their presence may be, the monsters we love to hate can teach us an awful lot about ourselves. It's often said in yoga that the pose you struggle the most with is the one you need the most. The same could be said for how we deal with challenging people. Now, philosophy is all well in good in the classroom but often times impractical on the street, and I'm certainly not saying I am the most patient person (you would be surprised at how short of a fuse I have) but it's important to at least keep that thought ringing in the back of our minds somewhere, to keep our eyes, ears and hearts open to what's going on inside us while we're caught up in what's going on outside of us.

  That's where it all comes together.