Sometimes I really wonder how people get by in life with what they make. I live at home with my parents, and while there are times I feel self-conscous about this, lately I'm feeling kind of ok with my decision to have stuck around so long. Now, I do have goals and ambitions in life and I won't be living at home forever but I've just never had a need to go out on my own for the sole purpose of being independent; I can do that without throwing myself in debt up to my eyebrows.
I'm very close with my parents, and rightly so as I'm an only child, and it's not all that uncommon or unethical in other countries for whole families to share housing. We just have this stupid attitude that we all need our own slice of the American Dream but there's another name for that and it's greed. The whole thing sickens me, from the top to the bottom. We were born on this earth, live off this earth, so when did it become a thing for someone to have the balls to charge us for our right to live?
Homelessness is a thing. Poverty is a thing. And no one is safe.
The cost of living goes up while the value of life goes down. Can you really blame people for committing suicide? I can't. And on that topic, i furthermore would not know what to say to someone if they told me they wanted to. As a good friend, one is pretty much obligated to defend their right to live but each person suffers in their own way. Who are we to tell them they must stay and suffer?
The answer has more to do with religious dogma than anything, and this ridiculous belief that you won't be let into the secret fucking garden if you kill yourself, or you'll be trapped between planes of existence and your soul will never rest. How is that any different from every day life?
I will not lie that I believe it's all gonna come crashing down on us one day; I do not live in constant fear of it like some but the pressure has been building for a long time, and things are not getting better, they're just not.
So much trust we put in our money and the government but what is guaranteed us? Death and taxes. If you need a ridiculous example of this, consider the inheritance tax.
Maybe it's always been like this, I don't know. I only have 29 years of living experience and insight to go off of but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that things are bad and wrong. Being (even partially) off-grid seems more and more appealing each day. I don't want to stay stuck to the nipple my whole life. I don't want someone else making decisions for me, not in my best interest.
I want to live my goddamn life the way I see fit. I'm not hurting anyone, I just want to be left alone. I don't want to have to pick a career to enslave myself to for the sole purpose of making more of something that buys me nothing of any lasting value.
The whole thing, life as we made it, is an elaborate ruse but the good news is that humor is not lost on it, though it takes a certain kind of humor and understanding of the deeper workings of things to appreciate it. In any case, I don't have any answers, just vitriol and contempt and a lot of sad and angry. Things could be so beautiful, life could be so beautiful without all this excess, without all this want and need, forever the material of books and movies... but not reality.
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