8.12.13 5:45 a.m.

  A morning spent with all the usual drudgery: alarm at 4:30, waking to turn that off, grabbing my phone and laying back down after I set the timer for 15 minutes, then awakening again to re-set it. It goes on like this all morning, usually until around 5:30, when I finally roll out of bed. Most mornings it works for me, others I can never seem to get ahead.
  I'm really not a morning person, suspect I never will be but I think it has to do more with the fact that my body is just not always ready to wake up so early; I make it wake up that early, so that I can do what I want and need to do in the mornings before work. Then, waking up early leads to the inevitable afternoon crash, which leads sometimes to a nap which leads to not being tired at the designated bed-time. It's a vicious cycle. Couple that with my insane desire to practice yoga this early and you have a recipe for failure, or at least grumpiness.
 
  But grumpiness is not what yoga is about; it's really counter-productive, actually. So now I'm starting to ease up off myself a little for not being totally ok with killing myself to get up super early and practice pre-sunrise yoga like all the sages of yesteryear. Maybe it just doesn't work for me. This morning gave me some insight into all this:  I woke the same as I always do, at 4:30. Proceeded with the alarm symphony but only set one this time, and woke up, for good, at quarter to five, nearly 45 minutes ahead of schedule.
  I got up, sat there for a bit and did some neck rolls, got my lungs used to me controlling their breathing patterns again and did some other stretches that felt necessary. Tied my hair back, cleaned the sleep from my eyes and went to the kitchen for the rest of my routine: hot water pot set to boil, let the pup out, get lunch and breakfast ready, feed the pup, make tea, shower, leave.
  Well, I had 15 extra minutes doing all this, so I decided to write. This might not seem like a big deal but it is immense, believe me. The morning is my favorite and most reflective time, and just being awake in it, alone, with only my thoughts and stillness, it is the perfect atmosphere for meditation, be it formal or informal. This morning I chose the informal route, and just considered the peace I felt within me and the rest of the slumbering world around me and soaked all that up. This is what it's all about, really. Postures, breathing, all that is just a means to an end. I got right to the core of it this morning, and I didn't even try to, and that's the key.
  The practice isn't lost on me, though; I'll come home and do my practice as usual but these 15 minutes I took to go into myself will set the tone and carry with me throughout the day today. I feel refreshed, and awake. I feel alive. Time to join the rest of humanity.

  Good Morning.

Presence.

  Quite possibly the hardest thing for me to deal with has always been my lack of ability to stay focused on what is present, what is right in front of me. It's only too often that I'm off in my head somewhere ahead of or behind where I am right now, where I should be, and this has always been a source of internal and external contention for me in my life.
  One could possibly try and make an argument that social media lets us embrace staying on top of the present with a multitude of posts and 'likes' but this is not even remotely close to the same, because it gives one no further control or insight into their minds' own ramblings, and why you do what you do.
Be careful with that control word, though; it can give you a whole other set of problems.

  Jealousy, bitterness, rage.. all these come from that neurotic place inside us we don't stop and check in with enough. Some call it meditation, others call it a power nap and still others go for a walk; truthfully, it really doesn't matter what you do to tap back into yourself and disconnect from the rest of the world for a few minutes, just that you do it.
  It can be as easy as standing in line at the grocery store. Obviously, this is where our Western impatience comes into play, as we all have somewhere to be like 20 minutes ago but just stand there. Don't peruse the gossip rags, don't start critiquing peoples' fashion sense and what ever you do, DO NOT play along with your mind's little games; it's a bored puppy that wants to grab the toilet paper roll and drag it around the house so you chase it and get all agitated and late.
  STOP.
  BREATHE. A little slower now, and deeper. Nice and easy, one after the other. Now focus on that, and how good it feels to fill your lungs with oxygenated tranquility. Feel your anxiety from only seconds ago melt away with each deepening breath until you realize you were so lost in it that you're next to check out and people are now glaring at you. Then smile at them and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I was just caught up in the present".