Burning off impurities.

  It's actually the name of an album by Grails but as I was inverted in down dog, it seemed fitting for a way to describe my own practice of yoga: A method of burning off impurities, to be left with the purest essence. I'm almost positive the title is more of a reference to the culture of drugs but it's hard to tell; it can be a very fine line between drug use and spirituality, and if you need any examples of that then look no further than the 60's and 70's.

  My thought process also led me to pondering how these yoga "superstars" from India came to be so huge and developed their own systems within the practice of hatha yoga. I'm talking about Iyengar, Pattabi Jois (Ashtanga), Bikram, etc.
  Each one has their own theories on the practice, each of their practices comprises a complete system fo complete rejuvenation of all bodily systems. I, however, have a rebellious streak and lack a guru of my own, so I'm kind of left to my own devices, which means that my rebellious mind gets the best of me and sooner or later I reject everyone else's system in favor of my own (whatever that is).

  I usually end up doing my own practice, though while still following basic guidelines from these other schools of teaching. It's not perfect but I try my best to keep things balanced and interesting. Too much experimentation has always been my main detractor from finding lasting success i.e. finding something that works and sticking with that, rather than constantly jumping around back and forth, searching. But, having said that, perhaps I have not found that something (read: practice) that works for me yet.

  If there's one thing all these methods of thought and different schools of teaching can agree on, it's that it is a continuous journey, and the only way to achieve anything is to keep practicing. I translate that to include even my more neurotic or experimental moments and phases.
  I have no desire in creating my own "system" of yoga; I just want something that works for me, that feels complete for me and not just like I'm following someone else's instructions because what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another. Shit, even the Buddha said not to take his word for anything and to find your own answers.

  I'll go with that.

4:30 A.M. yoga thoughts

  It's not a typo. I am actually awake at this ungodly hour practicing yoga, and generally just shaking the dust from my bones before I start the day.

  It's not easy but it's what I need.

  To rise early before everyone else is empowering, and one can benefit greatly from the stillness of early morning. It's actually my favorite time of the day, un-constrained by the chaos each day brings; the calm before the storm.

  The discipline takes time but it's not for everyone; there's always something to be learned about yourself, no matter what time of day. Every moment is a chance to go deeper, to breathe into the pain and discomfort, to relax and let it go. And you don't have to be twisted like a pretzel, it can happen all on its own.

  Do the poses, or don't. Just keep breathing and the rest will work itself out.

 

 

 

8.12.13 5:45 a.m.

  A morning spent with all the usual drudgery: alarm at 4:30, waking to turn that off, grabbing my phone and laying back down after I set the timer for 15 minutes, then awakening again to re-set it. It goes on like this all morning, usually until around 5:30, when I finally roll out of bed. Most mornings it works for me, others I can never seem to get ahead.
  I'm really not a morning person, suspect I never will be but I think it has to do more with the fact that my body is just not always ready to wake up so early; I make it wake up that early, so that I can do what I want and need to do in the mornings before work. Then, waking up early leads to the inevitable afternoon crash, which leads sometimes to a nap which leads to not being tired at the designated bed-time. It's a vicious cycle. Couple that with my insane desire to practice yoga this early and you have a recipe for failure, or at least grumpiness.
 
  But grumpiness is not what yoga is about; it's really counter-productive, actually. So now I'm starting to ease up off myself a little for not being totally ok with killing myself to get up super early and practice pre-sunrise yoga like all the sages of yesteryear. Maybe it just doesn't work for me. This morning gave me some insight into all this:  I woke the same as I always do, at 4:30. Proceeded with the alarm symphony but only set one this time, and woke up, for good, at quarter to five, nearly 45 minutes ahead of schedule.
  I got up, sat there for a bit and did some neck rolls, got my lungs used to me controlling their breathing patterns again and did some other stretches that felt necessary. Tied my hair back, cleaned the sleep from my eyes and went to the kitchen for the rest of my routine: hot water pot set to boil, let the pup out, get lunch and breakfast ready, feed the pup, make tea, shower, leave.
  Well, I had 15 extra minutes doing all this, so I decided to write. This might not seem like a big deal but it is immense, believe me. The morning is my favorite and most reflective time, and just being awake in it, alone, with only my thoughts and stillness, it is the perfect atmosphere for meditation, be it formal or informal. This morning I chose the informal route, and just considered the peace I felt within me and the rest of the slumbering world around me and soaked all that up. This is what it's all about, really. Postures, breathing, all that is just a means to an end. I got right to the core of it this morning, and I didn't even try to, and that's the key.
  The practice isn't lost on me, though; I'll come home and do my practice as usual but these 15 minutes I took to go into myself will set the tone and carry with me throughout the day today. I feel refreshed, and awake. I feel alive. Time to join the rest of humanity.

  Good Morning.