therapy.

1.

Therapy. 

Death metal and violent video games style. 

Hey, I spend the other remaining hours of each and every day mindfully, or at least attempt to, so a little mindless self indulgence once in a while never hurt anyone. Sometimes that’s all it takes, all a person needs is some fun.

Getting playfully plastered with your best friend, circulating the wonderful toxin around In your body, enough of which to kill that bug that’s taken residence up your ass, loosen the knickers a bit. 

We’re generally way too up tight; not saying getting drunk is always the best therapy but for someone like me, it is. I’m not a drunk or an addict or a junkie, I just like to get out of my head and have some fun on occasion, alcohol being the best answer, most times. It’s not always pretty, but with the right people and the right place, it can be a thing of beauty. 

It becomes less a social experience than  it is a shamanic one, feeling as if I’m taking part in some ancient ritual, passed down through generations, with its intent in contacting the other side. I feel that way because it is that way. You could look at the science of it and bore yourself to sleep or you could look at the spiritual science behind it, the one our Western minds can’t touch. 

2.

Ritual. Loud music and chalice style. 

A seance of slurred words and liberated bodies, freed from anxious shackles. Psychic bondage. 

Getting freer now, movements become more exaggerated, staggering and swaying. Dancing. Bobbing to the beat either in your head or outside of it, caught up in a feeling, emotion takes over. This is where it gets tricky.

To those who aren’t comfortable with their inner worlds, drama ensues; loud, emotional outbursts of jealousy and anger. One shouting voice becomes two, then three  or more in but a matter of seconds. The fight response dominates and everyone is suddenly very brazen, more so than usual. This is an unusual circumstance. Conversations become passionate, heated; logic gives way to charisma and you see the person behind their mask. Some masks are better left on, however; take heed and pick your drinking partners carefully.

To those who are more comfortable in their inner worlds than the outer, the experience is perceived very differently. Insight deepens, the heart expands and shines bright, healing light on all those it touches. Blood vessels dilate, the pulse evens out and the edginess you carry around as your shield dissipates; there’s no need for it here anymore. You’re free. You’re safe. The negative becomes numb so the positive can come forth. Shy ones and quiet ones experience it this way, the thinkers become the feelers the know they are. Relax, little one, for you can breathe easy now in this acceptance, for we are all drunk here, let that be your shield for the night. Find your security in yourself again, speak your mind and heart, let yourself be truth. 

3.

Theory. Armchair philosopher style. 

For therapeutic purposes, it’s best to choose a partner matching your own temperament, such as two reserved types or two un-reserved types. This lends to greater understanding and appreciation of each other’s thoughts/feelings and lessens the chance of misunderstanding, which greatly improves the positive impact of this work. 

Things always get off to a slow start but there is no need for haste; we have all night. 

4.

It’s now an arms race into slow oblivion. It’s no longer quite known if time is slowing  down or speeding up but is irrelevant, either way. 

barstool philosophers

  You can learn a lot from the time spent next to someone on a barstool. In fact, some of my favorite, best and most intimate talks were under the influence and with the inebriated.

  I have a soft spot for occasional drunks like myself. I don't hurt anyone, and I'm a lot more responsible about it now than I was in my more self-destructive formative years.

  Alcohol is a drug, and as such should be treated with respect and a healthy dose of discretion (and moderation.. sometimes) but it also has its merits, and is not without certain positive attributes. One of which is the lowering of our carefully constructed defense mechanisms, that are often times put up to keep others from ever entering the fortress.
  Now, you can take that statement any way you like but for my purposes I'm talking about letting people in emotionally. So often we're all shut in and shut off from other people; can't trust anyone, don't know who to trust, you've been hurt too many times and are scarred now, whatever the case the story is the same for most all of us in some way. Alcohol gives us a little window of opportunity to let our hair down and open our hearts without fear of judgement and really, when you're drunk you could really give a fuck less.

  Shouldn't it be like that more often?

  The meek grow mighty (and occasionally unruly, unfortunately), the quiet become chatty or perhaps the chatty revert and begin to listen for once. Results are not typical and it's not the best drug of choice for a lot of folks but for the rest of us, it's nice. Just be nice to yourself and give it the respect it deserves and let yourself open up a little. Try it, you might like it.

drink your bliss

  I wish drinking was like meditation: I could sit there, glass in hand, just gazing out with soft eyes at the life that surrounds me.

  Most times I do.

  More times than not I don't.

  I stare hard at the glass, and feel as if the liquid inside of it needed to be somewhere yesterday. I drink with a purpose.

  Thanks, social anxiety.

  But sometimes, it's just that good. One tasty craft beer deserves another, after all; like potato chips or Pringles, you can't have just one.

  Maybe next time I should bring my cushion and sit lotus on the floor..