Out to pasture

  I've never been one to keep up with the times, because for one I think it's extremely depressing and watching the news almost always leaves me in a miserable fury; it seems futile to even get upset about things because it's so common to be told "there's nothing you can do" anyway. Yes and No. You see, that answer actually infuriates me more because all I hear is laziness and that they've given up. Sure, let's just let "them" continue to keep taking it all away from us; they know that we know (or think, anyhow) that there's not a damn thing we can do about it anyway.

  Well they're wrong. And we're wrong, you're wrong and I'm wrong, if we all buy into that hopeless existence. There is always something that can be done. Clearly the seeds of revolution are sown deep in me but as much as I'd love to see the townsfolk marching down the street with pitchforks and primitive torches, intent on overthrowing some corrupt shit at whatever cost, it's just not appealing to me, and frankly, it solves nothing save for some really extreme cases of second and third-world poverty, government corruption, etc.
  We don't need a bloodbath here in America, but we do have a need for people to start waking the fuck up. Rub the dirt from your eyes and look out there and see what's going on, and do something about it however small, instead of going home to your lazy boy and 700 channels of cable you don't even watch 15 of. And you can only watch one at a time, so give me a fucking break, people.

  We're spoiled brats is what it comes down to, and as long as we have our material comforts and the capitalist machine keeps bombarding our brainwaves with messages to BUY! SALE! FREE LAYAWAY! and everything else, we're kept like the pleasant little docile cattle we are. No one wants an unruly cash cow, now do they? They get turned into hamburger real quick. Same thing happens when you go against the popular flow but it's not so bad, and that's the only way there will ever be any change made in this country, if we all stick together and hit them where it hurts: their wallets.
  I'm sure you're familiar with the concept of a boycott, yes? Or an hour where everyone ideally turns out all lights and off with all electronics to save the Earth an immense amount of energy production and distribution by-products. They all sounds great but sadly, they seldom ever work. Why? No one cares. Sure, some do but generally we're all too busy playing on our phones or computers with every light on in the house (especially in rooms no one is even in), with five tv's on and three radios... ugh. Would it kill you to light a fuckin' candle and go without any sort of electronic for ONE HOUR OUT OF THE ENTIRE YEAR? Probably not.

  Yes, I'm cynical. No, I don't like the idea of humanity very much. I am however, still cursed with this deep love and respect and eternal hopefulness that we can live up to our ideals, despite everything. It's just going to take a lot of work on everyone's parts, and there needs to be a collective awakening to get the ball rolling successfully, otherwise it looks like we're gonna soon be taxed for our lung capacity and fined for sticking your tongue out and tasting the rain. Someone owns the rights to that already, you know.
  it's just sad, really sad. All over the world, people are starving and dying and generally going through personal hells every day that we can't even begin to fathom. Shame on al of us for turning on the news and saying "ooh" and "oh my god, that's horrible", because we don't have one iota of a clue as to what it's like to struggle through life, and we can always turn the news off; it ends there fore us but for others, it never stops. We get raped financially, yeah, but it's our own fault for letting it come to that in the first place. Somewhere, someone along the line just started getting lazy and settling for second best because they were comfortable, then everyone else followed suit. Well, comfort is a double-edged sword, my friends so choose the comfort you desire wisely.

  I have no answers, and I offer no solutions. I know what I believe in, and I know that my money buys power, ultimately. My money that I earn goes towards ideas and industries I believe in, that can ultimately help all human beings out. Decide what matters to you, and then come to understand how that may or may not affect others. Are you supporting a hardworking, local or small business who focuses on quality or are you just stuffing the fat pockets of some multi-billionaire who doesn't give two shits about you. You're a statistic. Worse yet, a demographic; you're not even a human being anymore.
 
  Wake up. Claim your humanity. Hit 'em where it hurts.

cookie.

  You want to be something you’re not. There’s always more you can do, a look you could pull off better if only you worked a little harder and spent a little more money on this or that; then you’d be complete.

  Reality tells you that some people just have good genetics. It also tells you most others have no life outside of the gym and have to count calories every single second of the day, to fit into their designer clothes and earn a paycheck. Reality goes even further to say that your time of external beauty is finite, and the window is shrinking every day.

  I don’t know when I started easing up on the reins a little bit but I’m pretty sure it was around the time that I started practicing yoga. Don’t worry, this isn’t a ‘this is why you should practice yoga’ thing, there’s already plenty of them and better written ones to get you on your way if that’s what you so desire; I’m simply relating a story. When I say you I mean I, but you may be able to relate.

So I like to run now. I picked up this habit trying to kick cigarettes, and it was effective. In many ways, I went from one addiction to another. I never knew I loved running and the freedom it gives one, not to mention the personal sense of accomplishment upon completing races.

  Two years ago, I started with a mile or two now I’m doing a race nearly every month, with two half-marathons and two Spartan races on deck, a Tough Mudder, five trail runs of varying lengths but none below 7 miles and I can’t believe this is still the same person who used to enjoy Chicken McNuggets and appeared to be allergic to anything green.

  By all outward appearances, one would think that I’m pretty healthy, pretty accomplished and driven. All of these are true but I still have some nasty habits I’m trying to kick. Like my ego and trying to control everything. You research prana and pranayama extensively and you work on your control issues by controlling your breathing. It’s funny, you can laugh. No one can say anything to me I haven’t already thought myself, and I’m painfully aware of my own contradictions so take your best shot. I probably still won’t be mad. Impressed, rather, for you noticing something I overlooked.

  Before I got on the yoga tip, I did what many other spiritually and philosophically-attuned young individuals do and I experimented with psychedelics; Mushrooms, to be exact. I’m not here to go over the finer points of their usefulness or go off the deep end of drugged out euphoria though, so let me just say that they made me aware of certain things.It might be more accurate to say it allowed me to become aware of certain things, like my own negative aspects i.e. the things you really don’t like about yourself and try to cover up or control through some other means or validation. Me? I’m a little obsessive about my health so even when I did smoke, I still exercised regular and ate whole foods.

  It’s a little humorous, in a darkly kind of cynical way, that I never saw the forest for the trees. All these healthy things I was doing for myself just became an addiction of their own. When does health food become unhealthy? When you begin to stress yourself out over whether or not you should eat something and you begin to dread eating because you’re so confused as to what’s even good for you anymore.

  You take other people’s opinions in account over your own. Your opinions are now a reflection of their own and you don’t know who you are or what you even believe in.

I think this is a common problem, especially among the more neurotic of us, the chronic worry-warts and do-goods. It’s ok. What is not, however, is letting our own bad behaviors keep beating ourselves over the head. Awareness is the start but to really start feeling a difference you need to lighten up a little. Know and accept that there’s a lot of f’d up things in the world that you won’t be able to do much about.

  People suck most days. Again, can’t change this but we can learn to live with it better when we let ourselves realize that maybe the whole world is just having a bad day and how does that affect us? There are obvious exceptions; I mean, I don’t know how calm the Buddha would be if he were actively taking a nose dive in a plane about to kiss the ground at terminal velocity but supposedly he would be ok with it. I’m not there yet, nor do I think 90% of us ever will be, realistically speaking.

  For now, let’s just start with accepting the little things about us we may not like but are a part of us, regardless and see where it goes from there. The note in my fortune cookie reads: “You cannot run away from yourself, you’re always right behind you.”

  That’s one smart cookie.

21st Century Yoga Man

  There's a bit of a stigma attached to being a yogi in this day and age; I guess to be fair, it was that way in all days and ages but especially in this one, only because I'm completely caught up in it. By the way, a great big nod to King Crimson (in the title)..

  The stigma of being a yogi is something I'm not at all uncomfortable with, as I've always walked a different path in my own life, perceived and translated things differently than possibly the norm. So, the social stigma does not concern me so much as the personal stigma I impose on myself.
  You see, I'm a bit of a purist when it comes to things, and am very much an all-or-nothing type of person. I remain a bit cynical of technology (though undoubtedly hopelessly yet willingly bound to it, and recognize its importance, or at the very least, merits, in our modern society) and tend to reject most of what is considered popular opinion in favor of anything "traditional". I'm a bit old-school, in that sense.
  Now, this is really not TOO much of an issue unless you are as neurotic as I am, and insist on tracking down that unicorn of perfection: It simply does not exist and I remain painfully aware of this, further complicating and contradicting matters. So, I have a confession:

  I love beer. Craft beer. I love the culture and the "scene" and everything about it, even the snobby ones who smell grapefruit and buttered toffee in the nose.

  The conundrum is that alcohol is about as un-yogic as it gets. It really does nothing positive for the body or mind or humanity in general, for that matter. But I love it. Ok, at the very least I just highly enjoy it, because I view it from the culinary and alchemical perspective: It's a process to brew it and takes quite a bit of ingenuity, basic knowledge of natural ingredients and definitely an insistence on high quality to make it in this market. There's also a lot of passion in it, and I can speak for myself and many others to say how rewarding it is to track down a long sought-after beer and enjoy it either with good company or good food; preferably both.
  All these things are contra-indicated to the path of the yogi, however, and as I do not like to do anything half-assed, this creates a bit of inner turmoil in me. I generally do not mix the two; I will do my yoga early in the morning or before the last meal of the day, then treat myself to a beer later with said meal, or just abstain altogether, depending on the day. This method generally works but I still feel that nagging in the back of my skull that tells me, "clearly you are not a yogi at all, and don't you dare talk of yourself as one". But here's the thing:

  I AM one, a yogi.

  No one has ever said anything to the contrary or tried to tell me otherwise (mostly because it's not something I broadcast in my daily life) but no one has to because that voice comes out of me, and even if someone else were to, I probably wouldn't hear a word of it anyway.

  The point is, if I have anything resembling one, that the fact remains how we do NOT all live in India, or in caves, or can afford to practice every nuance of a tried and true yoga practice every day, though it is good to read up on your classics to have a fucking clue as to where it all came from and what the original intention behind it is; knowledge is power, after all. (And it's sexy, too..)
  We live in a pretty confused time but I think it's probably always been this way. It's just not practical to give up all our earthly possessions and vices and become strict ascetics. Some do, and succeed and seek what they sought to find but for the rest of us morning, noon, night and weekend warriors, well: It's every bit as important to have a life, too. All considerations taken and put aside, once you start to restrict the things you love, especially that you may only enjoy occasionally, you create more anxiety and resentment within yourself and this can manifest in any number of ways, none of them good.
    Without getting into a long discourse of what a true yogi is and is not, let's just say that it is likely for all peoples' best interests EVERYWHERE, despite belief sets or personal dogma, to take care of their bodies and their minds; this, of course, meaning through intake and output, in all manner of ways. Food, water, air, clothing, expression, emotion, conduct, etc; it's a lot more than just funky postures. No one ever said anything about not being able to enjoy the things you love in life. So, I suppose the age-old maxim "All things in moderation", is really the most practical advice of all (granted common sense is being utilized).


  I'm no closer to an internal settlement with this little personal debate but for now, I will continue to love BOTH beer and yoga, each in their own time and place.