losers take all

  There was so much more that I had wanted to say with this piece when it popped in my mind earlier, something about the ongoing struggle for contentment, and my deep empathy for the chronic malcontent in life but now, later on in the evening of the same day, the thoughts don't hold as much force or color. But, while we're on the topic, we might as well carry through with it.

  I, personally, believe that contentment is the single hardest thing to come by in our day and age. Sure, a lot of people are really successful, and lead what appear to be rich and happy lives filed with joy and memories but all this is fleeting. There is no lasting value to even the best things in life. To truly be content with that, we must accept the impermanence of life itself, we must reach an agreement within ourselves, our real selves, the selves we go to sleep with every night whose unconscious displays all the dreams of our subconscious; the self we cannot escape from, no matter how much we drink, smoke, eat or who we surround ourselves with. At the end of the day we're all alone, is what it comes down to, and a lot of folks have difficulty in accepting that.
  It's not a bad thing at all, and in fact is probably pretty normal I would have to think. Sometimes I wonder if my occasional divorce from human emotions renders me "abnormal" but I think it's all very subjective, like a lot of things. For some, possibly maybe but for me, it's just another part of who I am as a person, the enigma not even I understand and will spend a lifetime attempting to navigate the labyrinth in the dark with a pen light.

  Out of this deep aversion to acceptance of certain hard truths of life stem many chronic malcontents, who for the most part I greatly empathize with and for, because in many ways I am one. However, there is a line that needs to be drawn in the sands of time at a point, and that point comes down to a person's understanding of the life equation. There's those who know and accept life is shit, who bumble around clumsily, seemingly making the same mistake innumerable times BUT all the while remaining aware of the certain trap door life poses to us. Then there are those who have some inkling of the many unpleasantries we are surrounded by and surround ourselves with but choose to deny it in some sort of childish ignorance that at times comes off very contrived; not a bad thing but inevitably a setup for a great many failures somewhere alone the line.

  Now, what can be done of this? Nothing, really; sadly, it is what it is and it comes largely down to choice: Those who choose to ignore will continue to put on the strong face to get through the day but cry themselves to sleep at night, alone within themselves and not knowing where to turn. Many types turn to religion, because it is easily accessible and familiar.
  Frankly, I don't care what a person believes in if it gives them strength, so long as it is for their reasons alone and not from the pressures of society or anyone else. To hell with everyone but yourself. Be true, follow what you feel to be true in your heart and stick with that. Santosha, or inner contentment, is thus born; a renunciation of the need to require, the elimination of want. To have all that one needs within them.
  Additionally, those who know and accept the impermanence are not guaranteed an easier life, per se, just for their knowing this. In fact, in many ways it makes things much more difficult because then one comes face to face with all the ugly defense mechanisms and machinations we humans put up in battle against the sadness, our loneliness. The individual can see through these farces, in others as well as themselves, and learns that there is no place left to run anymore, no place left to hide. All the good spots have been taken by artful dodgers, holed up securely with their insecurities. A bit over-dramatic, perhaps but all the same, none of the vices we held as our temporary refuge and residence do it for us anymore. There's nothing left but to struggle on and accept. And accept we must; we have no choice but to.

  So, friends, I have no solutions for any one of you. I myself am a little of the former and a little more of the latter, as we area all a mixture in differing degrees. All I can tell you from my limited but compassionate experience is to be yourself, and "do you". Learn how to make yourself happy first and the rest will fall into place.